Family Meeting – A Suggested Format

The primary goal of the Family Meeting – To create and maintain a well-functioning, organized family that meets the needs of all of its members. Following is a suggested format for creating such a meeting. Leadership: Once the structure of the family meeting is decided upon, then all members will take turns chairing the meeting. Parents lead the meeting until the details have been agreed upon.

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Ground Rules for A Meeting of the Minds

    • One person talks at a time.
    • Everyone’s opinion matters and is needed in order to make good decisions.
    • Treat each other with respect.
    • There are no bad questions
    • Everyone has a right and responsibility to make their feelings known.
    • Attendance & participation of all family members is critical.
    • Create Win/Win Scenarios – “must give to get”
    • Trust is earned
    • Commitment to reach consensus but when not possible Mom & Dad have final say.

Family Business:

      • Develop, update, and maintain a weekly calendar
        • Briefly review last weeks calendar to look for what went well and what needs work
        • Plan and update calendar for the coming week:
          • Where is everyone going to be?
          • When are they going to be home?
          • What are this weeks family activities and events?
      • Discuss And Plan Family Activities: Daily or weekly activities that occur regularly and everyone is expected to attend
      • Discuss and Plan Family Events: Plan special activities such as trips to the zoo, movies, and other outings…Celebrate success!

Develop, review and update a weekly house use plan:

      • Schedule high use home resources:
        • Computer
        • Bathroom in AM
        • Family Room
        • TV schedule
        • Other…

Develop and Review Weekly House/Yard work Plan:

      • Assign duties
      • Review & discuss concerns
      • Adopt a team approach

Individual Personal Agendas:

    • Express feelings and concerns
    • Identify and solve problems
    • Identify and celebrate successes
    • Make requests for changes or special arrangements for things that affect the calendar and plans outlined above.
    • Make other requests.

All groups “grope & gripe” a little bit when setting up a weekly meeting format… but within the first few meetings things get better. A well functioning meeting will become something you wondered how you ever could have lived without! Remember disorganization costs a lot more time than it takes to sit down once a week or so. And, by all means, know when to call a special meeting when necessary.


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Don Carter CEO/Psychotherapist, Carter Counseling & Coaching Services
Don Carter, MSW, LCSW, CCTP, CCTP-II is an Integrative Psychotherapist and Certified Complex Trauma Professional at Levels 1 & 2, A graduate of the University of Missouri School of Social Work and trained by former Harvard professor, Dr. Janina Fisher Ph.D, Don's primary specialty areas include emotional, physical, and sexual abuse trauma, addictions, codependency, mood disorders, C-PTSD, and Adult/Child Syndrome. Don offers in-office and online counseling and coaching services and is licensed in Missouri.